The Dirty Old Folkers Christmas Panto – Babes In The Wood @ Kitchen Garden Café, 19th December 2014
The Dirty Old Folkers‘ kick-asymmetric annual take on the traditional Christmas Panto was celebrating its seventh year and seemingly immune to Coalition cuts. So far. As with previous sell-out productions their robust middle-fingered gesture to the time honoured Panto conventions remained both reassuringly immature and up to the minute subversive. This year’s home-spun, snow-speckled spunky show featured a DOF ethos defining reimagining of Babes In The Wood. But certainly not, as some misguided punters had intuited from the ‘Adult’ advisory, a tits-out for lumberjacks. Although, in the event, this proved fearfully to be almost the case. So, we embraced the DOF’s alt.rumpy-pumpy off the rails roller coaster crash through political correctness with welcoming gusto. However, Brum Live was sworn to secrecy not to publish any images or plot spoilers before the final show at The Prince, Moseley, on the 23rd.
A golden-wigged, Guinness-drinking Geordie drag-queen made a dodgy adoption deal with the Sheriff of not-quite-in Maid Marion’s pants yet. Meanwhile, a cigar toting predatory dead DJ (?) suggested a game of Twister with the school uniformed teenage lost ‘Babes’ who seemed quite anxious to kick his predatory nuts up in to his tar-soaked lungs. In a change of scene, an approximation of Bono and his a Mini-Me sidekick, The Edge, got angry over something or other whilst Robin Hood demonstrated utterly shite archery skills in a play-off commentated by a female Kenneth Wolstenholme. They thought it was all over – and it was – all over the place.It was a promise we were only too happy to give – not only in terms of professionalism but more so with regards to Elf & Safety, good taste and, not least, potential litigation. Suffice to say there were many a jolly sing-along carol sung; the band played an opening and closing medley of their greatest hits and the Panto? Well, their ever unique interpretation of Babes In The Wood made being sworn to secrecy not only a duty but a blessed relief. Suffice to say that it is an experience you will never forget and of which counselling or therapy can provide no lasting closure.
A wonderful time had by all. And keep an eye out for their top-hatted, teenage guest-spot trumpeter – a very talented lady indeed. It all ended happily ever after (for the audience, at least) because it definitely was – The End.
Review and photographs: John Kennedy